Posted on June 24 2017
LOVE YOURSELF. NO REALLY. DO IT NOW.
This is me, my body, after twins and a total of four children in four years. When I started The Pine Torch, I was nearly 290 pounds with babies, a business that I had built choosing to spend my last $250 on baby food or a heat press, a full-time job, and facing absolute failure. I was literally pumping every last ounce of energy and hope out of my body. While fighting about who was a worse parent, my 2.5-year-old escaped through the garage and was found running alongside the highway. That is the day I decided I was done. I would quiet the noise and love myself...no really. All of myself. I would find a way to provide for my children. I would lose the excess weight. I would be the mother my kids needed. Today.
And it happened.
And it's still happening.
One day at a time.
It's hard some days.
But today, I'm loving myself and part of that is looking at myself. Seeing myself.
My true self.
Would you cover your daughter's face, pull and tug on her, keep her in the closet, starve her, criticize her? How can we then love ourselves in that way? Open up. Bare yourself. Embrace yourself.
LOVE YOURSELF. Repeat after me. LOVE. YOUR. SELF.
You, Goddess, yes YOU…Have you stopped and loved yourself today? Each ripple, each line, each roll? Have you allowed yourself to be sectioned like meat and sold away piece by piece (have you labeled those pieces “chuck, butt, and rump?) Have you been swept up in the undertow of social media pressure, judged your scrambled eggs, the ratty washcloth you used on your baby’s face, the jar of banana you didn’t puree yourself? How about the first step someone else texted you while you were in your cubicle at work?
Do you feel the pressure to rise in your career while also being the Pinterest-perfect mother; speak out against injustice yet keep your mouth shut unless called upon; Be thin, Instagram-worthy, and air-brushed, yet inundated with unhealthy choices and insurmountable stress? Carry children in your body yet show no signs of stretch marks or mental duress; be authentically creative yet avoid inadvertently offending or appropriating any culture or ideology while doing so? The expectations are high, the limitations are even higher, and the stakes are immeasurable.
Stray from the path.
Stand up for the weak.
Rebuild what is lost and cast aside.
Dream and manifest.
Remember who you are.
Embrace your strength.
Reclaim your inner goddess.
Your daughter and all the daughters are watching.
This brand is for women warriors. For the goddesses who are stumbling upon the light within. Our customers are women who have been beaten down but come back stronger—some are rape survivors, have had miscarriages or lost children, have gone on transformational journeys, pushed boundaries on their path, etc. This brand is for the woman who fights, who cuts through the bullshit, and who lives an authentic life.
“Those who tried to bury me didn’t know I was a seed.”